What’s One Thing You Wish You Knew Before Becoming a Dominant?

Every Dom/sub dynamic is unique, which is why every Dominant learns different lessons and tips that work best for them. So for this special blog post, I’m bringing in 14 of my favorite Dominants in the BDSM community to answer the question, What’s one thing you wish you knew before becoming a Dom?

Now, all of these Dominants are actively living the lifestyle. And in this post they’re sharing some of their best advice and lessons that they’ve learned along the way.

You’ll get a taste of a multitude of different perspectives that have allowed them to become their own version of a good Dom. From embarrassing mistakes to sexy scenes, you’ll get insight into it all.

Communication and understanding are key

“One thing I wish I knew before becoming a Dom was the amount of communication it takes to really get comfortable with each other. Practices such as sharing each other’s sexual fantasies and clearly saying what we want/don’t want was something we didn’t fully do in the beginning.

“I wish I had known to find a mentor, Dom or sub, to help me learn about the intricacies of not only the lifestyle but medical, communication, and self-control.“As a Domme, I wish I knew softness and vulnerability was allowed. I went into it as a profession, so I worry if the disconnect was obvious. And I wish I knew more subtle ways of being a Domme, and I wish in general I had a healthy, experienced mentor at the time. I was cold and stoic, which worked for the dynamics I had. But I learned that I do enjoy it as a personal experience and it can fulfill me as much as being a sub does. More visit: How to be submissive

“I wish I knew before becoming a dominant that it was okay to make mistakes, because that’s okay. You learn how to grow from those.“I wish I would have known how important self-care is to the lifestyle for both Doms and subs. Before I chose the lifestyle, I never realized the amount of work behind the scenes it takes to properly set up for play scenes. Completely worth it in my opinion, simply took awhile to understand.”

And the one thing my Dom wish he knew before becoming a Dominant

“I wish I knew that you’re not just helping to better your sub, you’re helping to better yourself. It’s critical to take your role seriously and follow through, because you have to be dominant over yourself before you can be dominant over someone else. For me, being a Dom is not just about the mindset but also putting in the actual work that it takes to live this lifestyle successfully. Special thanks to everyone who shared their words of wisdom with me for this article!

What about you?

I’d love to read your response to the all-important question: What’s the one thing you wish you’d known before you became a Dom? Please share in the comments.  And don’t forget to grab your free quick-start guide below!